What Do You Want to Be?
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
A question we’ve been asked since we were about five.
For me, it was a vet. For years, actually.
(Although before that, I did briefly want to be a mermaid… which, in hindsight, had a few practical barriers.)
As we get older, we’re fed the same narrative again and again:
work hard in school → get into university → get a good job → be successful.
Simple.
Except… it’s not.
The plan we were sold
I didn’t end up going to vet school (partly because of a vet I did work experience with, who clearly had her own issues going on and, for whatever reason, decided to put me off the career entirely at 14).
So instead, I did what we’re told to do.
I worked hard at school.
I went to university.
I studied economics because the internet told me I’d come out earning £60,000.
Reader: I did not.
What no one really explains when you’re younger is that the world doesn’t just hand things to you because you followed the “rules”.
You can do everything right and still not end up where you thought you would.
Rejection, but constant
When you’re younger, you’re full of ideas.
You think you can be anything.
You assume things will work out if you try hard enough.
And then you hit your 20s and start applying for jobs.
And suddenly:
you’re getting rejected for things you thought you were perfect for
you’re being filtered out by AI because of keywords
and sometimes you don’t even hear back at all
After 50, 100, 500 rejections (including getting rejected by McDonald’s), it does start to wear you down.
Especially when each application takes about two hours of your life.
“What do you want to be?” stops feeling exciting and starts feeling like admin.
The realisation I probably should’ve had earlier
I think it’s only this week that something has actually clicked.
After a recent interview with a finance company back in the UK, I found myself spiralling a bit.
Do I actually want this?
Am I just following another version of the same “plan”?
But then I noticed something.
Every time I’ve been excited about a career, it’s never really been about the job itself.
When I looked into veterinary, I loved that it could take me anywhere in the world.
When I looked into finance, I liked that the qualifications are globally recognised.
When I look at NGOs, I get excited because they’re based in different countries.
There’s a very obvious pattern here.
It was never about the job
I’ve spent so long stressing about what I’m passionate about.
Finance? Politics? Something else entirely?
But the thing that actually excites me isn’t the job title.
It’s using my brain.
It’s travelling.
It’s talking to people.
It’s being in a new country, learning a new culture, starting again somewhere unfamiliar.
That’s the constant.
The part that slightly terrified me
Recently (not to boast), I’ve actually been doing quite well with finance applications.
And weirdly… that scared me.
Because it could mean moving to London.
Settling into one place.
Doing the exact thing I thought I was trying to avoid when I moved to Vietnam.
But after doing a bit more research into the company, I realised:
they have offices all over the world,
the qualification is globally recognised,
and there are opportunities to move abroad during training.
And suddenly, I felt calm.
Like… okay. Maybe I could do this.
I could try London, and it wouldn’t mean giving up the part of my life I actually care about.
What we should’ve been asked instead
I don’t think the question should’ve ever been:
“What do you want to be?”
Because when you’re a kid, you don’t understand what that really means.
Instead, we should’ve been asked:
What makes you happy?
What excites you?
What kind of life do you want?
Even now, when I talk to my students about jobs, I try to ask them that instead.
And it’s funny, because when I tell them what I want to do in the future, they just look at me and go,
“But you’re a teacher.”
And that’s it. Box closed.
The problem with the box
We’re taught from such a young age to put people into categories.
You’re this. You do that. That’s your path.
I remember going to a careers advisor at school, and because I liked geography, I was told I should be a meteorologist.
That was it. That was the plan.
As much to my dad’s disappointment, I did not go on to study rocks.
But every careers advisor I spoke to, and every online careers test I was told to do, just seemed to categorise you into job titles, not actually understand you as a person.
And honestly, those tests are questionable at best.
I’m not entirely convinced a computer can tell you what you want to do with your life.
And I think that’s part of the problem.
We get so focused on the job title, that we forget to think about what we actually enjoy. What we’re actually interested in. What we’re naturally drawn to.
And then we wonder why we feel so lost in our 20s.
Final thoughts from someone figuring it out
There’s a very high chance I won’t even get this job.
And that’s fine.
Because at this point, it’s not really about getting everything right.
It’s about trying things, learning, and figuring out what actually matters to you.
So no, I don’t have a clear answer to “what do you want to be?”
But I think I’m starting to understand what I want my life to feel like.
And for now, that feels like enough.
Anyway, those are this week’s thoughts.
I’ve been a bit MIA, but clearly… there’s been a lot going on.
With Love From Saigon
Anaïs
Follow my insta if you wanna keep up with the Vietnam shenanigans!